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KIDS SAY THE CUTEST THINGS……………


IT WAS THE END OF THE DAY when the warden parked his police van in front of the station. As he gathered his equipment, his K-9 partner was barking as he saw a little boy staring at them. “Is that a dog you got back there?” the boy asked. “Sure is,” was the reply. Puzzled the boy looked at the warden and then towards the back of the police van. Finally he said, “What did he do?


ONE SUMMERS EVENING during a heavy thunderstorm, the rector’s wife was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn the light out when he asked with a tremor in his voice “Mum, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t dear,” she replied, “I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice, “The big sissy!"

 

FINDING ONE OF HER STUDENTS making faces at others in the playground, Mrs Evans stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, “Bobby, when I was a child, I was told that if I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that.” Adam looked up and replied, “Well Mrs Evans, you can’t say you weren’t warned!”


AFTER THE CHURCH SERVICE, a little boy told the teacher, “When I grow up, I’m going to give you some money.” “Thank you, but why?” the preacher asked. “Cos my Daddy says you are one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had!”


A TEACHER WAS GIVING a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it and I would turn red in the face.” “Yes,” said the class.
“Then why is it while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted out, “Cos your feet ain’t empty!”

 

A LITTLE BOY got on a bus, sat next to a man reading a book, and noticed he had his collar on backwards. The little boy asked why he wore his collar that way. The man, who was a priest, said, “I am a Father.” The little boy replied, “My daddy doesn’t wear his collar like that.” The priest looked up from his book and answered, “I am the Father of many.” The boy said “My Dad has four boys, four girls and two grandchildren and he doesn’t wear his collar that way.”
The priest getting impatient said, “I am the Father of hundreds” and went back to reading his book. The little boy sat quietly, but on leaving the bus he leaned over and said……”Well, maybe you should wear your pants backwards instead!”


ANOTHER TEACHER was watching her classroom of children as they drew, occasionally walking around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. “I am drawing God,” the little girl replied. The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like?”
Without missing a beat, or looking up form the drawing, the little girl replied, “Well, they will in a minuet.”


A MOTHER WAS TEACHING her young son the Lords Prayer for several evenings at bedtime. Then it was the child’s night to say it solo, and the Mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right to the end. “And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from e-mail….!”


KID : Is it true Dad that in some parts of Africa or Asia a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?
DAD : That happens in every country Son!”


ON THE FIRST DAY OF SHOOL the kindergarten teacher said, “If anyone wants to go to the toilet, hold up two fingers.” A little voice from the back asked, “How will that help?”

 

A LITTLE BOY is talking to his teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human even though it was a very large mammal as its throat was very small. The little boy stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could NOT swallow a human, it was just physically impossible.
The little boy said, “When I go to heaven I will ask Jonah.”
The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to Hell?”
The little boy replied, “Then you can ask him!”

 

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FROM THE MOUTHS OF CHILDREN........

FUNNY STORIES

CHURCH CLANGERS

AROUND THE WORLD

USELESS INFORMATION?